Focus: A key to unlock your potential

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“No matter how well informed you may be, no matter how highly developed are your intellectual abilities, without right focus and concentration you cannot achieve perfection.”

Your focus determines the experiences you have and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Each time you focus negatively on things, your brain solidifies its habitual pathways and distracts and takes you away from your abilities. A positive focus increases your potential by not wasting your attention levels and gives you better access to your abilities.

To achieve life of your desired experiences, you need to strengthen your positive focus and should stop focusing on negative pathways. With right focus, you can manage yourself and your time in a more productive manner. Concentrating on the activities you choose enables you to create a life of your choice by devoting more time to your priorities.

Essence of right focus

Focus is not only essential in our professional life, but also is important in our personal lives. We need right focus in order to develop some skills to improve things and solve problems in our day to day life.

The ability to focus develops a strong will which can be applied to change your habits or mindsets in order to improve your productivity. Strong will to focus weakens the distractions thereby inhibiting the wrong impulses and improves self-control which leads to good emotional adjustment, better interpersonal skills, and adaptability.

“Those who focus best are relatively immune to emotional turbulence. The power to disengage our attention from one thing and move it to another is essential for well-being.”

Power of right focus

One essential quality for the success is the ability to concentrate entire thought upon the idea you are working on. All achievements in any line of work is the result of having right focus. Practicing focus management lets you explore by disengaging yourself from distractions and search for new possibilities. This makes you flexible to choose what is important to you and does not let distractions derail your aspirations and intentions.

By improving your focus, you can gain more skills to do better work each day.
Focusing and directing your attention to the right things and the ability to guide the others attention in the rightful direction also develops your leadership skills and makes you a good decision-maker.

Focus is developed by making conscious effort and it takes great mental strength but once learned takes you closer to the realisation of your dreams.

6 Keys to build right focus

1. Set a clear goal

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.”
Zig Ziglar

Know what you want by setting clear goals and purpose. When you have a clear goal, you know what will get you closer to it and what won’t and you don’t get caught up in distractions. This way, you don’t end up wasting time on things that hold you back. Knowing your purpose is sometimes all you need to build your focus.

“ Focus is not just selecting the right thing, but also saying no to the wrong ones.” Whatever is relevant to your goal gets priority.

2. Develop a strong will-power

The will- power can guide your inner focus towards achieving your goals. “It acts like a beam of light. It does little if gets scattered, but if you use it to focus, it can work like laser.”

An extrinsic motivation can only keep you focused for short time, but you need to develop a strong will to build right focus to act on your goals for longer time and to keep you on the right path tuning out distractions. Apply the will power to focus on desired habits.

3. Have better self-control

“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.”– Alan Loy McGinnis

All of us have different tendencies. One wants us to advance towards our dreams and goals and the other wants to pull us back and distracts. Both natures try to gain control. The one that we focus upon gets cultivated and decides what we become.
Focus on your abilities and not on your limitations or fears. Choice lies with us whether we allow the inner self to control us or whether we will be controlled by the brute within us.

4. Practice gratitude

Be thankful to what you have. This creates the right focus on your abilities to achieve your goals. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you weigh yourself down by self created negativity. Practice being unattached to the results or outcomes of your tasks. Focus on what is in front of you and on the process, this creates a clear vision. Appreciate yourself everytime you apply right focus each day to accomplish these goals.

5. Avoid multitasking

Some of us scatter our focus trying ṭo get too many little things done instead of focusing on higher priority tasks. When jugglers keep objects in the air at once, they focus on only one object in any given moment, if they scatter their attention among all objects, they may drop all of them.

Multitasking leads to inefficiency and creates stress. So focus on your priorities and handle them one at a time. Do those things more slowly and completely to maintain and gain more focus.

6. Practice being in the moment

Most days, our minds are in ten different places at any one time. As soon as we try to focus, thousands of undesired impulses rush into the brain and try to disturb us. By developing present moment awareness you will be able to reclaim your focus and will be able to unlock your full potential. Devote time to practice mindfulness and try doing your daily activities as form of meditation by concentrating and doing them slowly and completely.

Finally, commit to yourself by eliminating multitude of distractions in your life by concentrating on only those activities that have power to make a difference in the way you want to live or work. You can direct your attention towards finding your focus and develop the confidence to stay committed and motivated to achieve your goal. A sustained focus refines your efficiencies and improves your overall performance.

Strengthen your “creative muscle”

“The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them.” Albert Einstein.

Our brain is a power house of creative energy. From this springs new ideas. Unleashing our creative power needs a different kind of thinking. Creative thinking is simply finding new, improved ways to do anything and it leads to increased well-being.

“ The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones.”- John Maynard Keynes.

Curiosity can lead to new ideas and creative thinking ability grows when your original perspective is challenged. A closed mind cannot lead to much creative thinking as compared to an open mind. By stepping outside old, rigid norms and narrow confines of stagnant thoughts, you can explore bold new ideas to reach your goals and success.

Creativity is an important skill to be learned and practiced and harnessing it strengthens your authentic self. Here are some ways to strengthen your creative thinking ability.

Accept your flaws.

“ To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph C. Pearce.

Mistakes are a pathway to innovation and growth. Trying to be right always makes you forego thinking outside the box for the fear of going wrong. Develop an ability to accept the flaws and realise their potential to generate new ideas. It is okay if you go wrong when you are trying something new. Learn and go on to get it right next time.

Develop a strong sense of belief.

Many of us stop thinking creatively to achieve our goals simply because we concentrate on why we can’t. Instead concentrate on why we can.

“ Belief releases creative powers. Disbelief puts the brakes on.”

When you believe, something can be done, your mind thinks creatively and finds ways to do it. Believe and you will start to think constructively. Avoid the word impossible from your thinking.

Remove the cobwebs of self doubt and prejudice.

Cultivate a habit of positive emotions.

We have a habit of viewing the events through our lens and segregate them as positive and negative. Make a habit to categorise more events positive and experience positive emotions such as joy and appreciation. This opens your mind and changes your outlook on the situations. Your thinking gets flexible, innovative, and increases your creative output. This may not lead to fame or fortune all the time, but can strengthen your creative thinking by experiencing positive emotions.

Strengthen your creativity by asking and listening.

Encourage others to talk and listen to what others say and evaluate. In personal conversations or work meetings, exchange and discuss new ideas. This way, your mind soaks up raw material which you can use to produce creative thought. Write down your ideas and review them. Test your own views in the form of questions. Let others help you better your ideas by being open to their suggestions. Associate with people who can help you think new ideas and make your ideas grow.

Keep a positive focus.

When we learn to enjoy using our creative energy, it generates its own internal force to keep our attention focused. When you immerse yourself in creative activities and follow your passion, your mind opens up to new possibilities. With the positive focus the authentic self gets strengthened and finds ways of bringing as much creativity as possible.

Look for good problems.

One of the most common excuse people give for not being creative is that they lack ideas. The inspiration isn’t coming. Often people focus on something new and original. But this may not be fruitful every time. Observe and look for problem areas. Every problem we face needs a creative solution. Thinking of solutions for the problems will improve your creativity muscle.

Avoid traditional thinking.

“Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.”- Edward de Bono.

Traditional thinking freezes your mind, blocks your progress and prevents you from developing creative power. It is important the way you think. Change your outlook and adopt a new way of thinking and way of doing things. Ask yourself if there is some other way of seeing a situation. If you keep trying to find new ways to get around a problem, a new idea is sure to open up for you.

Be progressive in your thinking.

Progressive thinking is asking yourself “what can I do to achieve more?”, “ how can I better myself.” Search for ways to increase your efficiency to do more. Set high standards for yourself and others. When you do progressive thinking, your creative power is switched on and destroys regressive thoughts like can’t be done, won’t work, and so on.

Practice mindfulness.

“Mindfulness not only improves your physical and mental health, but also increases creativity. Negative self-talk can be a barrier to creative mindfulness. By observing our thoughts in an open non- judgmental way, we distance ourselves from negative self-talk. This allows the process of being creative.”

Inspire yourself to tap into creativity.

Have the right amount of passion and determination to create new and different ideas. Inspiration makes dormant forces and talents to come alive and you discover yourself to be a creative person by far than you have ever imagined yourself to be. Inspiring others also lets you get engaged in the creative moment.

 

 

Cultivate the habit of happiness.

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Being happy is something we all want. What makes you happy?
What are the factors that can lead to happiness?
Many of us correlate it to friends, relationships, prosperity, appearances, success and so on. But these are all external factors which all of us have no control upon. So they cannot be considered as permanent factors in creating happiness. Paradoxically our aim in pursuing all these factors is for happiness, but many times what we say we want and what we do is never in alignment with each other. We say we want to be happy, but we make choices that bring opposite of happiness.

The ability to feel happy is something which is innate. Two people living in the same world with the same set of circumstances can experience life differently just by the way they think. ‘Happiness’ or ‘misery’ all depends on how you choose to respond to these circumstances. What you pursue in your mind is what you get out of life. In a way, your attitude towards life and your thoughts determine your happiness quotient.

“The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness.”
– Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Certain facts about happiness you need to know in the pursuit to make it a habit.

*Your happiness is not dependent on others. what people say or think and the situations around have no hold on your happiness index.
Happiness is fundamental natural state of mind. We are all happy beings born with natural state of joy, compassion, and kindness.
Accumulations and appearances do not result in happiness. Material things come and go, appearances change, but beneath all remains innate secret of unreasonable happiness.
Fear and happiness cannot co-exist. The unhappiness producing process always feeds on your fears and worries.
Unhappiness is self-created. You are the own creator of your thoughts and you have the power to create your own happiness.

When we understand these facts, we can change our thinking from ‘I want happiness’ to ‘me is a happy being’. It is necessary to cultivate happiness habit to drive off the thoughts which create unhappiness and to replace them with happy ones.
Turning towards happiness is a valid goal and you have to make a conscious decision to seek happiness by cultivating the habit of happiness.

Certain obstacles you should look for in the pursuit of cultivating the “Happiness Habit.”

Being judgemental.
The moment you become judgemental about others, you get into unhappy modes such as anger, resentment, ill-will, etc., which not only takes you away from your natural state of being, but also blocks further happiness.
Tip: Accept the differences in opinions and views. Develop appreciation and awareness and change your perception of others.

Expectations.
Another hindrance in the pursuit is keeping expectations. Expecting what others would say or how they behave is like expecting their future. In a way, you are expecting them to match with your belief systems and when they don’t, you begin to feel let down or sad.
Tip: Do not base your happiness on the outcomes as having expectations from others and meeting people’s expectations, both will fluctuate your happiness.

Dwelling on past and future.
Reminding or thinking about past hurts or unpleasant events becomes a major obstacle in the cultivation of happiness habit. Thinking about future causes worry and stress.
“You can do nothing to change the past and future will never come exactly as you expect.
Tip: Focus on your ‘Now’ and whenever your focus drifts off to other places and times, map back.

Stress.
Stress is a result of negative programming we have imbibed. Stress is created by feelings of fear, anxiety, or worry. Unease caused by imagining a bad outcome to a present or future event or situation.
“Stress comes from the way you relate to events or situations.”
Tip: Recognise that happiness is not contained in events or situations. It is up to you how you respond to them and you always have a choice to choose stress-free thoughts.

How you perceive challenges.
Happiness a lot depends on how you take up the challenges or obstacles. It all depends on how you face and overcome them. Treating the challenges as be-all and end-all situations will block happiness and causes depression, and discouragement. Take them as work out situations
Tip: Use the so-called problems or obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow more stronger for your future endeavors.

Developing certain personal factors or inner characteristics can lead to happiness. This can create further inner transformation and can be achieved by regular practice and repetition of new thought patterns. Here are some practices to cultivate “Happiness Habit.”

Practice optimism.
You feel good physically, mentally and emotionally by focussing on positive patterns of thinking. Substitute unhappy thought patterns with positive happy thoughts. “The happiness habit is developed by simply practicing happy thinking.”

Practice virtue of patience.
It takes time to cultivate all the qualities that create state of well-being and happiness. We acquire many unhappy and negative mental traits over time. So you need to develop patience in order to address and counteract each one of these negative traits.

Practice mindfulness.
“Happiness is the state of being centredness which is here and now”. Keeping your awareness and concentration in the present moment and letting go of past can be achieved by practicing mindfulness.

Practice simple living.
“ The secret of happiness is not in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”
Happiness is equal to your contentment. We have basic needs and endless wants. Know the difference and practice simple living.

Finally, base your actions and attitudes upon basic principles of happy living by choosing happiness. Some of the basics are that of caring, gratitude and good will.

Make peace with your emotions

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.”–Jess C. Scott

Our attitude towards our emotional state becomes very important because it can affect how we cope with suffering when it arises. Fear, anger, guilt and anxiety are all emotional responses that can intensify suffering. Understanding your thoughts and emotions and of others leads to a higher level of emotional freedom and stability.

Emotional intelligence which is built on the foundation of self-awareness helps you to be more content and fosters your own productivity. You get better equipped in terms of how to handle things rather than worrying about what can go wrong. Negative emotional state can sabotage your clear thought and focus. Developing emotional stability capacitates focusing at will and inhibits strong impulses and urges. Also enhances other relationship attributes like influence, persuasion, and cooperation.

By knowing your feelings and remaining productive during difficult emotional episodes makes you emotionally stable.

Certain facts:

• All emotions are essentially distorted and begin from our mental interpretation of what occurs around us.

• Emotions cannot be denied or controlled.

• Negative emotions are not an intrinsic part of human nature.

• Our negative emotions can be rooted out.

• Feelings fade over time and are not constant.

Every negative emotion contains a positive lesson and plays the role of a teacher. For example, fear generates alertness and caution. Anxiety indicates an urge to succeed. Insecurity reflects a desire to do well and to prove yourself. Concern reveals thoughtfulness and sensitivity.

“Emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood”

Daniel Goleman,

To understand and to accept your emotions means appreciating the positive lesson contained in negative feeling. Although you cannot directly control or change your emotional state, you can create a stability by improving your emotional intelligence. Here are some ways to improve your emotional intelligence and to make peace with your feelings.

Improving emotional understanding.

Each one must act their own physician when it comes to their emotional well-being. The best method is to recognise your emotions as they occur. When you are emotionally distressed, you begin to feel very negative about yourself and with those around. Negative emotions like discontentment, grumbling, becoming frustrated, or over-assertiveness might arise.

By recognising your negative emotion that is influencing you negatively, you will be able to confront your weaknesses of your own mind. Becoming aware and understanding the reasons behind and effects they have on you, you will know what measures you need to take to clear them away. This will make you better at handling negative situations and helps you develop positive, productive, and clear thinking.

Accepting your emotions.

“Accept your feelings as natural phenomena and learn from them, but don’t let them run your life.”

You require an open mind to change your relationship with your feelings. For instance, we all react in different ways to ill spoken words or criticism. Some simply ignore and forget it altogether, whereas others feel hurt. Also, there are some who accept criticism and reflect on themselves and then try to correct their wrongdoings.

Acceptance of both positive and negative feelings while acting constructively improves your inner confidence. Instead of struggling in negative emotions, you create a store of inner strength and will be able to concentrate on your positives.

Developing self-awareness.

“Awareness of self and others, and its application in managing our inner self and our relationships is the essence of emotional intelligence.”

You don’t need to control emotions. They are natural like passing seasons. The key here is to know your strengths and weaknesses. Constantly building on your positive emotional state and learning from your negative emotions will make you an emotionally better person. At times, when you are obsessed by worries and anxieties, you need to have a resolute attitude and need to hold on to your strengths. Develop an attitude of tolerance and concentrate on your strengths instead of giving way to pessimistic thoughts and negative emotions.

Overcoming negative emotions.

Self-reflection is an excellent method to overcome negative emotions. When you attribute the cause of your negativity to outside factors, you become the target. But by reflecting upon yourself and accepting your mistakes, you will become aware that the emotional distress is also because of you. Remain flexible in the face of difficulties and never be too stubborn to change and refine yourself.

“ To rid yourself of old patterns, focus all your energy not in struggling with the old, but on building the new.”

It may be true that you might have had past experiences with failure and suffering, but it is very unlikely that you are going to face them through out. Do not restimulate an unacceptable thought or feeling. Overcome negative emotions by replacing passive, negative emotions with positive and constructive ones.

Loosen the knots of ego to stay on your purpose

“ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.” – Richard Rose.

Most of the times your “Egoic self” becomes a greatest hindrance in advancing towards your goal or purpose in life. It is human nature to feel happy when praised and many of us feel offended when criticised or corrected. That is the egoic self which is in play.

Egoic mind gets conditioned by our environment and upbringing and your identification gets compulsive through association with objects and people. This kind of conditioning of past lets ego to identify with things and people. The impulsive and involuntary thinking that you are more important than those around you or being superior takes you over and separates you from your authentic self.“ The ego tends to equate having with being: I have therefore I am and the more I have therefore the more I am.” – E. Tolle.

This identification with your made up self thereby activates stressful reactions in your body and create resistance to joy, happiness and abundance that you desire to create on your journey towards your goal.

Ego is not our nature and it is a created phenomenon. Here are some ways to transcend ingrained ideas of self-importance to help you identify with your purpose.

Let go of “I Know It All” attitude.

Ego cannot bear to admit that it does not know enough. By revealing “I Know It All” attitude, ego grows bigger, rigid, and self-willed, and opinionated thereby taking control over you. All that the mind knows is the borrowed information. A mind filled with information or full of knowledge makes you believe that you are the doer and takes hold on your authentic self. Let go of this habit and set yourself free.

Let go of “I am right, you are wrong.”

Being right strengthens the ego and pushes you in the direction of making others wrong. You get used to a habit of making others wrong in order to get a greater sense of who you are. Feelings of anger and bitterness replace loving and kindness.

“ Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation.”

Be aware of your egoic interpretation of others by differentiating between facts and opinions. Embrace kindness and try to see the totality of a person or situation. Reject the need to be right always.

Let go of “ I am Superior.”

“True nobility isn’t about being superior to others or someone else. It’s about being better than your former self.”

Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearances, achievements, or possessions which are the indices of ego. There is no point in proving yourself superior or criticising or belittling other person’s knowledge or abilities. Instead be aware that we all have same creative force available to fulfil our goals.

Let go of “ I need more.”

“Always it is your true self which is perfect – it wants / needs nothing: It is your ego which is imperfect- it wants/ needs everything – “ M. Jeffrey

Ego strengthens its grip over you by creating a need to have more. This feeling of “not enough yet”makes you always strive thereby eliminating the possibility of ever arriving. The need for power or the need to be in control or for more creates a feeling of insufficiency and lack that needs to be filled. When you drop the habit of needing more, more of what you desire will arrive. You tend to create more by letting go of the desire for more.

Let go of “ I need to win.”

Ego divides us into winners and losers. Winning in all situations might make you competent enough. But egoic mind fears the opposite of winning. You start to feel worthless and insignificant if you lose. Do not identify yourself with your achievements. Lesser the need to take credit for your achievements, the more you stay connected to your abilities to win.

Let go of “what others think of me.”

You have no control over what others think of you. There is a great difference between “what others think of you” and “what you think others think of you.” This over concern of others perception of you lets the ego to have a strong hold and starts guiding you based on others opinions. Disconnect from the opinion of others and connect to your purpose. Let your purpose guide you.

Let go of assigning “negative mental labels.”

Assigning negative mental labels to people or situations will further strengthens ego. Ego loves to complain and feel resentful. This way you tend to feel negative towards the people and the situation you are in and tends to treat the moment as an end or an enemy. These grievances further turn into stronger negative emotions and hinder your personal growth. Drop the habit of complaining and being resentful .

Don’t let your ego convince you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is.

Ego is our hell and we are the creators of it. We create and suffer from stressful thoughts there after. But it is within our capacity not to create and move away from such created self. Become free of ego by being aware of it and by not getting identified with it. Be focused on your purpose.

Be stronger than your fears

“Whatever you fear most has no power; it is your fear that has the power.”

Fear is just a loop of thoughts that you are feeding with new energy. Fear is generated mostly because of a distorted way of understanding of ourselves and the world around us. We end up creating more and more if we continue to focus our energy on them. They do not go away by just reassuring ourselves or by changing roles that deceive no one else but us.

Fears begin as feelings, beliefs based on past experiences or as expectations. Over a period of time, when there is no more space to hold these fearful thoughts in your mind, they all manifest in your body as physical tension or as certain health issues.

Fears limit your experiences. You may not fully commit to your efforts and they hold you back from achieving your full potential. To understand better let us look at some of the fears that limit your ability to accomplish your goals.

*Fear of inadequacy or not being good enough attributes to lower self confidence.

*Fear of other people lowers your ability to express yourself.

*Fear of losing or disappointments or being out of control may stop you from trying new.

*Fear of being out of control makes you avoid those ones which you have no control.

And the list goes on.

It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard for, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”Jack Canfield.

Not all of our fears are specific and can be defined. They can appear as nervousness, hesitation, self doubt,or reluctance. Many of them turn into phobias. They keep multiplying unless a conscious effort is made to move past them.

Develop an understanding attitude.

Understanding the fears helps us to manage them better. The deeper your understanding, the greater it starts to dissolve the fear. Many of our fears are because of our attachment to possessions or people around us or success. For instance, When we understand that possessions are not the source of our joy or well-being, we don’t fear losing them. You don’t fear loss of money or success when you understand how money is created and you can always create more. Try to understand reasons that are holding you back. Most of the times they are made- up beliefs that are commonly associated with future events or based on past actions. Awareness reduces fear.

Accept what is.

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”

Jim Morrison

If you deny your fears, they remain and sabotage your dreams. When you accept what is and continue, you get to know them and this in a way weakens that which is holding you back. You cannot control your fears. By accepting and facing your fears, you will realise that whatever you feared most of the times wasn’t really that scary.

Use fear as a fuel to motivate you.

“What we resist will indeed persist. What we befriend, will transcend.”

Don’t treat fear like an enemy. Treat it like your best friend who can help you. Try and replace your fears with love and power. Don’t let fear take over as this leads to self sabotage. Bring in the power within to overcome that is holding you back. Fear need not be an adversary. Make it as your guide and adviser. Fearlessness can be a powerful weapon against self doubt and low self confidence.

Use action habit to cure fear.

By taking decisive action or doing what you fear makes the fear disappear. Fear makes you psychologically uncomfortable just as pain does physically.

It is very essential to know when and where you should let fear guide you to take care and when you should choose not take risks. You can push through psychological fears such as fear of other people, shame, embarrassment, or rejection and so on as they are subjective and there is no risk of physical danger. But in case of physical fears, where there is a risk of physical injury, it is better to take precautions and not to take foolish risks.

Do not feed your fears.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Fears feed on our insecurities, feelings of loss, inadequacy and attachments. Don’t feed much energy to the negative thoughts that come and go. It is easy to do if you simply refuse to recall your negative and self depreciating thoughts. The unpleasant thoughts and fears will gradually disappear as you develop competence.

Don’t let fears capitalise on your opportunities. Accept and get past them. Take action by directing your thoughts towards your goals, passion, joy, and abundance.

Conscious parenting

As parents we all want to raise our children as happy and successful individuals. We try to fulfill our function as parents by doing all the right things and the best we can for our children. The role playing of parent makes you believe that by doing more and more you make yourself complete. But even doing the best we can is not enough if we neglect Being. If parents honor only the role they are playing but neglect being, they fail at making an authentic relationship with children.

You become successful at parenting when you genuinely recognise your child from the realms of Being and not by merely role playing.

The five things you need to stop doing in order to practice conscious parenting.

stop conversing only in the form of doing or evaluating.

Most of our coneversations with our children on a daily basis are mostly to do with doing or evaluating. These are necessary in day to day activities, but that’s all there in your communication with your child, then you may be missing a vital point in your relationship as parent with your child. When you have conversations, try to be completely present in the moment. looking, touching, listening and helping them with their work will create a healthy environment where they can also share their experiences and opinions. Cultivate connection such as being loved, understood, and wanted.

Stop fault finding.

Constant cmplaining and fault finding only creates negativity and a sense of separation between parents and children. This in a way affects the confidence of the child. Finding faults with them will only makes them feel wrong and you to be right. We cannot expect them to learn everything overnight. Children always long for recognition, not on the level of performance but on the level of being. So it is important to leave your habit if complaining and bragging.

Stop being supeṛior.

Many adults play roles as parents instead of being. Many times they talk down to the child and don’t treat them as equals. Because of this role playing, parents come in the grip of ego, which makes them believe that they know more. The fact that parents know more or that they are bigger makes the children feel that they are not equal. In a way parents try to establish a fact that I know what is best for you or what I know is right for you. This will only make them feel inferior. Stop being superior and give them freedom to make their own choices and decisions.

Stop Controlling.

Parents define their role as parents by constantly controlling and telling them what to do. They cannot let go of this habit even when the child grows into an adult. They are afraid of losing their identity and in their desire to control or influence the actions of their child, they will start to criticise or show their disapproval. In an attempt to preserve their role they make the children feel guilty and not worthy of. Train yourself to reduce your expectations on how their life should be. For your child to be successful, they must feel valued. Value their choices and help them in taking their decisions.

Stop overprotecting.

Over a period of time, looking after their needs and preventing them to getting in danger becomes overemphasized and takes you over. Excessive need to provide what they want turns into spoiling. It may be tempting to grant their every wish, but this will drive them to have unrealistic expectations. They need to explore things on their own in order to develop resilience. They will make mistakes, but they will turn into their experiences. Give them space to be.

Mistakes are proof that you are trying…

“Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time”. – George Barnard Shaw

Everyone wants to live the life of their dreams. When you start to live the life of your dreams, there are going to be obstacles, mistakes, and setbacks along the way. Often a trivial mistake we commit can make us feel dejected. Each of us have our own flaws. We must not allow them to overwhelm us and discourage us in the pursuit of our dreams.

Mistakes are sometimes committed unintentionally or being ignorant or by lack of understanding. You will be a better person if you try and learn from them and not to allow them to happen again.

We sometimes have to change ourselves for better in order not to get stuck in the loop of committing the same mistakes.

Here are some simple guideposts to help you turn your mistakes into learning opportunities.

Admit your mistakes.

If you go wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Take responsibility for your actions. Do not be afraid of admitting your mistakes. Have the courage to be your own critic. Seek your faults and correct them. This is one habit which distinguishes a winner from a loser.

Get out of error groove.

“By dwelling too much upon your mistakes you can keep yourself in an error groove”. Clinging to your thinking about your mistakes can condition you to make the same mistakes again. Come out of the error groove. Don’t let your mistakes in the past ruin your present.

Learn from your mistakes.

Research each mistake. Try and work out what you did wrong and devise new strategies to equip yourselves to do better in the future. learn that there is a good side to every mistake. Train your mind to learn from your successes.

Feel free to innovate.

“Don’t let the fear of committing mistakes keep you from trying new things”.

Every time you innovate, you are going to run the risk of making a mistake. It is okay if you go wrong when you are trying something new. You need not get it right in the first attempt. Learn and then go on to get it right next time.

Turn On the Problem-solving mode.

Learn to respond to your mistakes by thinking how not to let them happen again. This will take you to a problem-solving mode. This way, you can arrive at a solution in correcting the mistakes and not get discouraged. But if you ignore the mistakes, then that type of thinking will keep you away from learning and advancing towards your goals.

Have right focus.

Everyday we do certain things frequently. This gets us into a habitual mode of doing tasks. We don’t focus on them completely and our minds wander because of the habitual nature. This is when mistakes happen. The key here is to have right focus and pay attention towards your goals.

Remember to persist with your goals and dreams. See the good side and never allow yourself to get discouraged. Give yourself countless opportunities to learn and grow from your mistakes.

Good, better, best

Many times it so happens that we forget the “ better” in our quest for the “ best”.

If we implement “ better”, in nine out of ten cases it would lead us to “ still better”.

Every time waiting for “best” would hinder your progress.

Always start with GOOD and then implement it.

Try to improve it to do BETTER and still BETTER.

Make it an on-going process for doing the BEST.